Co-Regulation: Building Emotional Resilience Through Supportive Relationships
Co-regulation is a primary process fundamental in human emotional development and relationship building. The development of emotional regulation skills, and indeed healthy social-emotional development throughout the life span, is built on this dynamic, reciprocal interaction between individuals. Understanding co-regulation is essential for parents, educators, therapists, and anyone involved in supporting others' emotional well-being.
What is Co-Regulation?
Co-regulation refers to the warm, responsive interactions between a caregiver and individual that provide the support, coaching, and modelling needed to understand and express emotions and develop self-regulation skills. Initially conceptualised in the context of infant-caregiver relationships, co-regulation has been recognised as important throughout the lifespan, particularly during times of stress or emotional challenge (Lillas & Turnbull, 2019).
The process involves three key elements:
1. A supportive relationship between two or more people
2. Environmental conditions that support positive interactions
3. Specific coaching and modelling of skills that build self-regulation capabilities
According to developmental psychologist Susan Hopkins, "Co-regulation is the foundation for building the capacity for self-regulation. Through consistent, responsive relationships, individuals learn to understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours" (Hopkins et al., 2020).
The Science Behind Co-regulation
Neuroscience and developmental psychology research has shown that co-regulation occurs through multiple biological and behavioural mechanisms. When people engage in co-regulatory interactions, their nervous systems become attuned to each other through a process called biological synchrony. This synchronisation involves aligning physiological states, including heart rate, breathing patterns, and stress hormone levels (Porges, 2015).
The polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, provides a neurobiological framework for understanding co-regulation. The theory explains how our autonomic nervous system responds to environmental cues of safety or threat and how social engagement through co-regulation can help shift our physiological state toward one of calm and connection (Porges, 2011).
Benefits of Co-Regulation
Research has identified numerous benefits of effective co-regulation across different age groups and contexts:
Early Childhood
Studies have shown that consistent co-regulation in early childhood leads to:
It improved emotional awareness and awareness of expression.
They will have better stress management abilities.
More attachment relationships
Increased cognitive development and increased readiness to learn.
Higher social competence
Adolescence
During the teenage years, co-regulation continues to play a vital role in:
Developing an Identity
An ability to deal with higher levels of feelings
Developing an understanding of peer relationships
Creating independence but not losing the links.
The ability to solve complicated problems
Adulthood
Even in adulthood, co-regulation remains important for:
Managing workplace stress
Maintaining healthy relationships
Coping with major life transitions
Promoting good mental health and well-being
Developing leadership capabilities
Practical Applications of Co-Regulation
In Parenting
Parents can facilitate co-regulation by:
Maintaining a calm and supportive presence during challenging moments
Offering physical comfort when appropriate
Validating emotions while helping children find appropriate ways to express them
Creating predictable routines and environments
Modeling healthy emotional regulation strategies
In Education
Teachers and educational staff can implement co-regulation by:
Creating classroom environments that support emotional safety
Establishing consistent and predictable routines
Ability to respond sensitively to students' emotional needs
Teaching explicit emotional vocabulary and coping strategies
Incorporating regular check-ins and emotional awareness activities
In Therapeutic Settings
Mental health professionals use co-regulation through:
Building a therapeutic alliance
Teaching mindfulness and grounding techniques
Providing real-time emotional support during sessions
Helping clients develop personalised regulation strategies
Supporting the transfer of skills to daily life
Challenges and Considerations
While co-regulation is a powerful tool for supporting healthy emotional development, several challenges can arise:
Caregiver Capacity
Parents and caregivers can regulate their own emotions enough to help others regulate theirs.
Cultural Considerations
It is important to understand and integrate cultural differences in the display of emotions and relationships when performing any co-regulation intervention.
Environmental Factors
Stress, trauma, and systemic barriers can affect one’s capacity to regulate with another person.
Resource Limitations
Time constraints and high-stress environments can make consistent co-regulation challenging.
Future Directions and Research
Recent studies are still on the rise in providing information on co-regulation across various contexts and among various groups of individuals. Emerging areas of study include:
The use of technology in the co-regulation process.
Examples in the work environment
Cultural variations in co-regulation practise
Effects on mental health results.
The underpinning neural basis of co-regulatory processes
Conclusion
Co-regulation is one of the basic mechanisms of human development and interpersonal relationships. Cultivating healthy co-regulation practices in children, parents, teachers, and clinicians can improve emotional growth and functioning at every stage of life. Further research on co-regulation will undoubtedly provide new applications and methods of how we can help foster healthy emotional development in various settings and with various individuals.
References
Calkins, S. D., & Hill, A. (2007). Caregiver influences on emerging emotion regulation. In J. J. Gross (Ed.), Handbook of emotion regulation (pp. 229-248). Guilford Press.
Hopkins, S., Shanker, S., & Leslie, R. (2020). Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life. Penguin Random House.
Lillas, C., & Turnbull, J. (2019). Infant/child mental health, early intervention, and relationship-based therapies: A neurorelational framework for interdisciplinary practice. W.W. Norton & Company.
Murray, D. W., Rosanbalm, K., & Christopoulos, C. (2016). Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress Report 3: A Comprehensive Review of Self-Regulation Interventions from Birth through Young Adulthood. OPRE Report #2016-34, Washington, DC: Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.
Porges, S. W. (2015). Making the world safe for our children: Down-regulating defence and up-regulating social engagement to 'optimise' the human experience. Children Australia, 40(2), 114-123.
Schore, A. N. (2019). The Development of the Unconscious Mind. W.W. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2020). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
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